Writing my own job description (part 1)

Sometimes I think I chose the wrong career. Not the pastor part - because of the nine or so years I have been licensed, I have only been paid by a church for about two, yet I love what it means to me to be a pastor... But that is the topic of a different day's blog. So what is the wrong career that I chose? 

Motherhood. Stay at home motherhood, to be precise. Because what do we think stay at home moms do? Well, if there is a full-time homemaker, isn't the house supposed to be always clean, organized, and smelling great, ready to receive visitors at a moment's notice, and a haven of peace when the man returns from a long and weary day of work? 

If that is the expectation, then I am a miserable failure. 

My house hardly ever seems to be clean all at once, and especially not when when my husband returns from work to hear me say " hurry up and take a shower so you can keep the kids out of my hair while I make dinner." And that smell? Well, if it is not dinner, then it is probably a poopy diaper that didn't quite make it into the designated trash can. And despite all my organizational skill, there are usually (okay, always) a few piles waiting to be organized. 

Actually, I am a happy failure. 

It does bother me that my house is not the cleanest, because I do in fact notice the mess and and I do in fact know how to clean, but I have come to accept that there is a lot more to homemaking than that.

What are the essential tasks of MY chosen career of stay-at-home-mom?

Cook, clean, clothe, and care, yes, but also adventure and artistry, love and learning, delight and dream, worship, welcome and wonder.

Cooking - love it. Sometime I think it is the closest thing I have to a hobby. With three kids it is a little more challenging than it used to be, but if I stay up until midnight to make a fabulous birthday cake for one of my kids, I think I am insane, but I also love to do it. Luckily, the control freak in me keeps me from over-eating... my husband is not so lucky. But my kids eat a few vegetables and otherwise are generally eating home-made and healthy-ish foods, so here I am a success.

Clean - hate it, as mentioned, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Actually, what I hate is trying to clean while constantly being interrupted. Give me a few hours at home alone, some upbeat music, and I actually don’t mind it all. Clothe - well, my husband is a better shopper than I am, but luckily most of our clothes are hand-me-downs or gifts from Nona (the Croatian grandma), so I haven’t had to do too much to keep my family dressed. Semi-success.

Care - well, I am a little better at not yelling at my kids to stop crying than I used to be, so semi-success? Okay, all kidding aside (sorry for the pun), I love to care for my kids. The rocking chair before bed, kisses and prayers for ouchies, cuddling during story time, finding teachable moments in the day to help them handle conflict and disappointments, I think I do pretty well caring for my kids. And as one guy at church said after watching my kids repeatedly come up and hug me or hold my legs to be lifted up, “your kids sure do love you!” - Success!

And the rest of the list is what I think are the important things I can do for my kids as their mom, aside from the stereotypes. 

Adventure: we have had our share of museum and zoo memberships, but even walking to get the mail can be an adventure, if we stop to look at bugs, plants, and clouds along the way! It took me awhile to be okay with the slow pace of taking a “walk” (toddle) with kids, but it is worth it to slow down, let them wander, and enjoy the chance to take a few deep breaths of fresh air. 

Artistry: I love to create things. This would be my hobby, if I actually had the time. Maybe that is why I like to cook, because I can make something beautiful and enjoyable out of a task I have to do anyway. So, since I don’t have time to paint or do many crafty things generally, I like to be crafty with my kids. I am so proud of my firstborn, that over the past year he has really become quite the little artist, mostly sketching out different kinds of dragons, and creating fantastic stories about them, and about his toys. One day I will write up a story of his and post it. I ought to write down his tales every day - I could probably make a children’s book series and pay for his college education. I am not a genius crafter - I mostly steal other people’s ideas and do a decent job replicating them. But I have fun.

Now, since I’ve been trying to write this post for about four days and I really should be in bed, I think I’ll save the rest - love and learning, delight and dream, worship, welcome and wonder for another day. If I can write my "job description" this way, maybe I picked the right career after all.

But let me leave you with a question - what is the job description you’d like to write for yourself, highlighting what is most important in your life and especially highlighting what you enjoy and do well? Let’s celebrate our successes instead of feeling like miserable failures. Or at least, let’s accept what is and be happy failures.

Finding God in the Everyday

At some point in life, we all find ourselves in the middle of a storm. Or lost. Or maybe we know exactly where we are and where we want to be, but don't know how to get there. Maybe we have nowhere to go, but are so bored or frustrated with where we are that it seems anyplace else would be better.

I live in the greater Los Angeles area. People here tend to find ourselves far too busy, far too entertained to know how to be quiet, and far too unaware of the wonderful beauty of creation, due to the congestion of buildings and cars and people.

I love it here. I fit in well. I am a goal-oriented person, I like to be busy, I love people, and I love it that just about anything I could want to see, do, or eat, is no more than about an hour away. On the other hand, more often than I'd like, I realize at the end of the day that I haven't spent much time truly listening to God. I have spent too little time just enjoying my children's company. I haven't had a meaningful conversation with my husband. I haven't spoken much about God. I haven't been thankful. I haven't called the friend who has been on my mind.

Wife, Mom, Pastor, Friend. These are the most important roles in my life. Wife for eight years, mother of three. Pastor by calling and ordination, though not by salary at present. And I hope to be the kind of friend who can listen well, be there when I am needed, and inspire hope, faith, joy, and gratitude.

I am starting this blog in an attempt to keep at heart the relationships and roles that are most important to me, and to help me recognize the spiritual side of the everyday things in life.

I am also in a bit of a storm. Actually, I am at a standstill when I'd rather be rushing. That's the problem for a do-er: if we aren't moving fast, it seems like something is wrong. So that is another reason I write: to help me slow down and enjoy it (since I have no choice about the pace at which my life moves). God's love and faithfulness have been present throughout my life. I want to thank him for that, and move in his timing, grace, joy, and peace.

Care to join me?